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  • Rotem Stark

CAN COUPLES THERAPY REALLY HELP ME AND MY PARTNER?

Updated: Jun 10, 2023


Couple in couples therapy
How can couples therapy help

Couples therapy can be an incredibly powerful tool to help couples gain a deeper understanding of themselves as well as the relationship. Many seek therapy when their relationship is in trouble, but that doesn't need to be the case. Couples can choose to engage in therapy in order to deepen and enhance the quality of their already strong relationship.


Counseling can help create an environment for you and your partner that feels safe to explore your relationship problems. It can also assist you in developing the skills needed to navigate the conflicts you have, guiding you to change your destructive relationship patterns. Most importantly, you learn how to better work together as a team and be a source of safety and security for each other.


Couples therapy is similar to anything you may invest your time and energy into, you will most likely get out of it what you are willing to put into it. In order for couples therapy to really help your relationship, both people need to be committed to working on their relationship and putting in the effort to be open and honest with themselves and their partner.


Similarly, you need to maintain realistic expectations. All of your problems will not be resolved in one or two sessions, depending on why both people decided to seek counseling, change may occur at different rates. If you are invested in the counseling process and believe it can make a difference in your relationship satisfaction and personal happiness, it allows you to lay a great foundation to start working on whatever issues are arising between you and your partner.


Here are some benefits of therapy that, in the long run, could greatly improve your relationship:


1. You get an impartial sounding board


For most couples dealing with conflict in their relationship, they feel as though they are stuck in a relational cycle where they keep having fights that go unresolved. With the help of a therapist, you gain a neutral third party that can listen to both people from a new lens and help identify unhelpful patterns. . It gives you the room to feel safe and comfortable to voice your feelings and have better insight into your partner’s emotional process during conflicts. A therapist's role in this environment is to also provide space that refrains from judgment. In couples therapy, there is no assigning blame or validating negative labels assigned by either person in the relationship, it is about facilitating reconciliation toward more positive exchanges. This is mainly done by improving your communication skills and acknowledging how you may have previously partaken in these conflicts


2. Learn effective coping skills


There are many different methods of couples therapy that our therapists are trained in and can use during your sessions. All relationships are unique and you may choose to seek counseling for various reasons, therefore we try to find the most efficient technique for our couples in order to give them the highest chance for success. Our two primary approaches, the Gottman Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) are known for their effectiveness with couples struggling to establish their communication and emotional bond. It also helps you learn the effective coping skills needed to navigate conflicts in a healthy manner. Your therapist will guide you and provide a tool box that you can pull from in order to deal with difficult situations that may arise and help you grow and connect on a deeper level, even through conflict.


3. Provides the space and guidance to clarify your feelings about the relationship.


Couples therapy gives you an opportunity to gain an understanding of what you truly want out of your relationship as an individual and as a couple. Counseling can help you explore, understand, and clarify whatever feelings you may have about your future and build a vision for your life together. It can help you and your partner come to a decision, whether that may be putting in more effort to make your relationship work or parting ways. No matter the outcome, therapy allows you to come to terms with where you see yourself going and how to take the right steps in improving your well-being.



For more information on how couples therapy works and whether it would be the best option for you, book a 15-minute consultation with Stark Wellness Clinic or contact us.



Until next time,

Rotem Stark, Mpsy, RP, Stark Wellness Clinic



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