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  • Rotem Stark


Should you go to couples therapy
Couples Therapy

Despite the myths surrounding couples therapy, it is not required for you to be in a marriage to seek counseling. The average couple tends to wait six years before seeking professional help. Still, the purpose of this type of therapy is to help every couple in their relationship at any stage. Whether you are married, unmarried, preparing to marry, separated/divorced, or in a common-law relationship, therapy can help you better understand your partner, establish healthy boundaries, and break the unhealthy patterns plaguing your relationship.

Many couples seek couples therapy in order to keep their relationship strong and thriving, making sure the lines of communication are open to avoid potential issues. Therapy can be a preventative exercise. Rather than waiting too long to begin therapy, introducing it into your relationship early on can help you rediscover your connection and satisfaction. You would also be taking a proactive approach to your relationship as opposed to reactive to issues that may arise. With the increasing demands of life, financial, family and work pressures couples feel, having a ‘check-in’ session every two weeks is extremely helpful and many couples look forward to connecting.

Here are some common reasons why couples tend to seek counseling:

1. You are dealing with communication issues

Communication is the foundation of all relationships. Although problems in communication are one of the most tangible reason people seek couples counseling, it may lead to you constantly feeling misunderstood by your partner. Couples who struggle with a lack of communication usually experience ongoing and unresolved conflict, making it difficult to manage other stressors in their lives. Therapists are equipt with the tools to help you connect, hear, and understand each other better. It can also help couples practise awareness when they are falling back on their harmful communication patterns and begin using more assertive and healthy approaches.

2. Your trust was broken

One of the most common reasons for seeking couples therapy is the need for assistance after a breach of trust. For instance, infidelity can be hurtful and damaging to the relationship, but it does not have to be the end of the relationship. In any case, couples therapy helps you rebuild your foundation of trust by providing the space and resources where both parties can freely express themselves and begin a journey to healing.

3. There is a lack of emotional intimacy

It is not uncommon for the spark you once had with your partner to be gone after spending years together and it may even reach a point where you feel like ‘roommates’. Sometimes the daily challenges of life can result in couples spending less time with each other and lacking proper emotional bonding moments, leading to one or both partners slowly drifting away. If you feel lonely, have a lack of physical and emotional intimacy, and are disconnected, it may be time to seek therapy. With couples counseling, you can reconnect and renew the bond you once had and feel the excitement and satisfaction that should be a part of all healthy relationships.

There are many different situations that can drive you to fall back on unhealthy patterned behaviour, leaving you struggling to connect with your partner and possibly questioning your relationship. If you are thinking of possibly pursuing couples therapy, consider these questions:

  • How long have you been having problems?

  • Are you resolving your fights or do they keep reoccurring?

  • Do you feel seen and heard in your relationship?

  • Is there a lack of intimacy?

For more information on couples therapy and how we can personally help you navigate your issues, book a 15-minute consultation with Stark Wellness Clinic or contact us.

Until next time,

Rotem Stark, Mpsy, RP, Stark Wellness Clinic


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